All the Single Ladies

Alright, this topic has been on my heart for awhile now. More and more, I am seeing how much emphasis we, as ladies, place on having a significant other, on acquiring that dream boyfriend, on building that magical world of love and endless happiness. Ah, the beautiful fantasy of it all. And I'm not condemning that in the least bit. Honestly, have at it. But I fear that all too often it becomes a consuming thing for us. I mean, I myself cannot be excluded from this. After all, there I was, thinking, "Wow, it's kind of disgusting how desperate some people are," and then I realized that the same thing was becoming true within my own life. Now, I will openly say that I have never had a boyfriend. How sad is that, right? I should be given the rights to the title of "most desperate of them all" if we're being realistic here.

But it's really not that sad. You see, it definitely could be. I could sit and sulk over the fact that I've never experienced that sort of love or that sort of relationship. I could wallow in the ever-popular "woe-is-me." I could be a bitter love-Scrooge. And I'll admit that I was for a time. It's so unbelievably easy to fall into this trap. You know, you see a couple on the street and you literally gag in your mouth because PDA would be more accurately named PDG. Public display of grossness. You are forever wondering what everyone else has that you don't. And then you even begin to entertain the thought of lowering your standards to the lowest of the low, just to avoid the forever-dreaded spinster fate. Wow, that is seriously a lot to take in.

Chances are, you've had some of these thoughts or worries or anxieties. And trust me, it's okay. It's normal. It's human. But just because it's human doesn't mean we should give it free reign on our lives. Yeah, falling in love & all that jazz is grand. But it's not our sole purpose for being on this earth. Thank the Lord it isn't. Believe it or not, it's possible to live a euphoric, fulfilled life without perpetually having a man by your side. Wait, that was super harsh. I'm not anti-men, seriously. They're awesome. But I think we let them control our lives a bit too much. It's not necessarily their fault most of the time. Oftentimes, it's the result of our own obsessive or insecure behaviors.

Yet, it's so easy to conform to this method of seeking satisfaction from romantic relationships, of finally finding someone you can see yourself being with. Gosh, I remember the days when texting conversations could literally make or break my night. If the person doesn't respond in the way you would like or doesn't respond at all for that matter, it's not a fun thing. And it's our natural inclination to go, "Shoot. What have I done? He hates me; I just know it. I'm a good-for-nothing loser. Bring on the empty house & the infinite amount of cats." Perhaps for some, it's not quite this extreme. But admit it, there's been at least one point in your life where your happiness for that day rested entirely in the hands of some guy. And for awhile, I guess that can be fun. But we end up falling into this routine, often without even noticing. We are at our best when the relationship is at its best. But when the relationship struggles, it's safe to say we'll be out of commission for at least a day or so.

However, this is absolutely no way to live. We're putting our faith in all the wrong things here. We're resting our hopes on finite, earthly love, that whether we choose to believe it or not, will fail us at some point or another. But the love of our Father God does no such thing. His love is satisfying and prevailing and worthwhile and ceaseless and beyond all bounds and outside the realm of human reason. And let me tell you, I have never been so blessed to experience something that I don't understand. What a joy it is to know for a fact that the perfect love of Jesus Christ drives out all fear, all worries, all anxieties. Yes, even the great uncertainty that surrounds the human love of this world. He is bigger than that; He is better than that; He is greater than that; He is truer than that; He is more majestic and fulfilling and consuming than that. If you let Him be.

I am in no way proclaiming that I am against or above all things love. Nah, not at all. Love can be an incredibly wonderful thing. I see examples of that each and every day, whether it's through the selfless love my parents have for one another or through seeing couples bridge the distance that college has created. Yes; it's most definitely an extraordinary gift that we, as humans, have been given. But we mustn't forget the greatest love story of all time in the process. To know you are crazily and endlessly and recklessly loved by your Savior is the most exquisite realization this world has to offer. A perfect Savior. A perfect love. The kind that drives out every last bit of fear.

I don't know about you, but for now, that is surely enough for me. He's got my future under control. If falling in love is a part of it, then so be it. If it's not, then so be it. In Him, in Him alone, I am completely, entirely, fully, unmitigatedly satisfied.

Two Weeks Notice

On December 2 of this year, my older sister Kari, the straight-up gem in this photo above, will be returning from Rwanda for the first time since September 12, 2011. Let's put that into perspective here. When she left, I had just begun my junior year of high school, and now I am halfway through my freshman year of college, and wow, that's just so strange for me to contemplate. You see, she became a member of the Peace Corps in the fall following her graduation from college and has been teaching at an all-girls Catholic boarding school in the small African country of Rwanda for the past two years. Her time there has most assuredly been far from easy or comfortable, and she has been exposed to countless crazy and eye-opening cultural experiences. Yet, through it all, she has developed a myriad of relationships and connections, some of which will certainly be lifelong. That's the thing about my sister: she can be thrown into almost any situation - in almost any place on this vast earth - and she learns how to thrive. She just goes with it. It's an undeniably difficult feat, but time and time again, Kari manages to bring life to places which very few would even venture to in the first place.

And just two short weeks from today, for the first time in twenty-seven months, I will be able to see my sister face to face. And to say I am stoked beyond belief would be the understatement of the century. I mean, it's such an inconceivable thing to me, so much so that I almost cannot bear to stop talking about it. So, my apologies to the cashier at the store who heard a brief synopsis of Kari's Rwandan life as I was checking out my groceries and to Rosemary the lunch lady for holding up the line while I was rambling on about my excitement and to the kid at the gym this morning who was probably trying to concentrate on his workout. But wait, I'm not actually sorry. For in just fourteen days, one of my best friends and one of my most faithful and constant life examples will be home. Gosh, is God ever good or is God ever good? 

But all of this got me thinking. What an absolute treasure loved ones are! They're seriously so great. But how often do we treat them in the exact opposite manner, as though they're a fact of life and nothing more, as though they're not worth the added effort because they'll just always be around? Come on, we all do it. But as of late, this mentality has become so utterly gross to me. Because it doesn't have to be this way and shouldn't be this way. We should be so lost in gratitude and compassion for our loved ones - and human beings in general - that it becomes second nature to cherish and savor every glorious moment that we have with them. And what better time to instill this habit than around Thanksgiving?

Yes indeed. Be thankful. Be thankful for family. Be thankful for friends. Be thankful for each and every beautiful person who touches your life. And quit being bored and expectant. Every encounter with those you love should be a precious gift, whether you've been apart for two hours or two years. Be forever eager to love on these people. Love them with all of your might.

P.S. Shout out to my sister Kari. It's the first time in my life that my countdown to Christmas has been my second most important countdown. Can't wait to embrace you and your radiant soul soon.