Friendships, Old and New

Alright, so I just recently embarked on the literary adventure that is Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray, and though I am far from done and still far from even unearthing the plot, I have already come across about a million quotes that I could sit and converse about for days on end, quotes that I read and somehow know that my thought process will never be the same again. It's probably a bit unhealthy, my cynical and obsessive quote collecting, but it's also quite probable that I am long past the point of caring. One such quote reads as follows:

"I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones."

Now, upon first glance, I can agree with the fact that this quote isn't some literary masterpiece in and of itself. The words are standard. It's not dripping with that majestically beautiful quality that some quotes boast. Yet, it is oh so brilliantly and almost condemningly true. And pretty harsh. I mean, it's easy to read these words and automatically assume that the person to whom they belong is some selfish ogre who knows nothing of the value of friendship or the necessity of continual investment that friendship craves. But then I thought about it. And I was humbled by the whole thing.

You see, here's how it tends to go. You meet someone new. You click with this person. It becomes an acquaintanceship. You exchange small talk more frequently. You begin to think, "Wow, I really enjoy being around this person, and man, it would be great to get to know him/her a little better." Cue the second nature investing. You, without a second thought, begin making time for this person, planning fun and/or weird endeavors and enjoying every minute of it. Conversations are savored; every word and story is held on to because it's never been heard before. The newness of it all is alluring; the mystery is sensational; the novelty is seemingly unending. This, my friends, is friendship in its infancy. It's exhilarating. The good times innumerable, the required effort inconsequential.

And then time passes. And the newness begins to wear off. Suddenly, you don't treat this person as though they're the most interesting being in the world anymore; you're done carving out times in your hustle and bustle-filled schedule to spend time with this person. You know so much about this person that you no longer find it easy to devote your full attention to every story or detail he/she has to offer. And pretty soon, the title of "friendship" is about all your friendship has going for you. And frankly, calling it a friendship will never make up for the fact that it is no longer a friendship.

But there's hope; thank the good Lord for that. Notice that, in life, you have friendships that have made it long past this "point of doom." And that's because there has been some sort of investing on the part of both friends involved. Friendship requires this type of investment. It requires nurturing and effort and commitment and care. Yes; newness is a beautiful thing when it comes to friendships. I love love love meeting new people. But the addition of one should never mean the subtraction of another. 

A nice long friendship is absolutely extraordinary. And we must learn to find excitement even in the old and familiar.