Confidence: It's Key

That's right. Confidence is a paramount piece of the puzzle commonly referred to as life. But oh! how prone we are to compare ourselves to others, to adhere to the doubts in our pretty little heads, to second guess, to focus on our shortcomings and snub our strengths as though it's been our job from the moment we first called this world our home. You see, the concept of confidence sounds utterly exquisite, a lovely way to go about viewing ourselves and others. But perhaps, it is the most vivid example of the old adage that it's often easier said than it is done. Gee whiz, why must this always be the case?

Well, I have found that humans - even those seemingly perfect ones who induce a second glance with each parting of the first - all have some sort of flaw, some looming fault that the mirror always gets a kick out of pointing out, some insecurity way deep down. Even if no one else can see it, we can. I mean, we truly are our own worst critics. Forget the camera; our own finicky, ever-examining eyes add ten pounds. And what a travesty this all is. Now, I'm not here to simply state that we're all beautiful and should be happy with ourselves just the way we are and all that jazz. That's great; don't get me wrong, and I will always be whole-heartedly certain that this point is 100% true. But I've never been one to love cliches. In fact, I kind of live to do the opposite of everyone else, to make use of a brand new perspective, to recycle tired, hackneyed advice and rejuvenate it a bit if I am so able.

So yes; we're all beautiful and talented in some way; I can vouch for that fact. But I believe that it rests in so much more than all of this. It's about learning to accept the idea that comparing oneself to another in the hope of attaining some sort of peace or security in the process is about as futile as going for a picnic as a harsh thunderstorm begins to roll in. At the time, it doesn't seem so bad, but as soon as you spread your checkered blanket on the soft green grass, the petrichor starts to pass, and the rain itself begins to pour down, accompanied by its cohorts, thunder and lightning. Suddenly, regret makes its way to the forefront, and you can see that all of your packing and planning were for naught. Yes; this is the equivalent of using comparison for some sort of self affirmation. It may seem alright at the time, but it can severely cloud your perceptions and leave you with a worthless feeling.

So maybe give confidence a shot. It's this fascinating concept where you believe in yourself and live with the full assurance that you are who you are and that alone is surely and entirely remarkable. If you ever feel the need to let a flaw or a setback or a shortcoming or a person define you, please do me a favor and stop that right now. I have found that there is something strangely exciting about a person with confidence, a person who is so comfortable with who he or she is that it becomes this contagious confidence fest. Such a lovely thing confidence is. May we all be ensconced in it. May we all lose ourselves in confidence only to find who we were truly made to be.

Because after all, confidence is key.

Friendships, Old and New

Alright, so I just recently embarked on the literary adventure that is Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray, and though I am far from done and still far from even unearthing the plot, I have already come across about a million quotes that I could sit and converse about for days on end, quotes that I read and somehow know that my thought process will never be the same again. It's probably a bit unhealthy, my cynical and obsessive quote collecting, but it's also quite probable that I am long past the point of caring. One such quote reads as follows:

"I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones."

Now, upon first glance, I can agree with the fact that this quote isn't some literary masterpiece in and of itself. The words are standard. It's not dripping with that majestically beautiful quality that some quotes boast. Yet, it is oh so brilliantly and almost condemningly true. And pretty harsh. I mean, it's easy to read these words and automatically assume that the person to whom they belong is some selfish ogre who knows nothing of the value of friendship or the necessity of continual investment that friendship craves. But then I thought about it. And I was humbled by the whole thing.

You see, here's how it tends to go. You meet someone new. You click with this person. It becomes an acquaintanceship. You exchange small talk more frequently. You begin to think, "Wow, I really enjoy being around this person, and man, it would be great to get to know him/her a little better." Cue the second nature investing. You, without a second thought, begin making time for this person, planning fun and/or weird endeavors and enjoying every minute of it. Conversations are savored; every word and story is held on to because it's never been heard before. The newness of it all is alluring; the mystery is sensational; the novelty is seemingly unending. This, my friends, is friendship in its infancy. It's exhilarating. The good times innumerable, the required effort inconsequential.

And then time passes. And the newness begins to wear off. Suddenly, you don't treat this person as though they're the most interesting being in the world anymore; you're done carving out times in your hustle and bustle-filled schedule to spend time with this person. You know so much about this person that you no longer find it easy to devote your full attention to every story or detail he/she has to offer. And pretty soon, the title of "friendship" is about all your friendship has going for you. And frankly, calling it a friendship will never make up for the fact that it is no longer a friendship.

But there's hope; thank the good Lord for that. Notice that, in life, you have friendships that have made it long past this "point of doom." And that's because there has been some sort of investing on the part of both friends involved. Friendship requires this type of investment. It requires nurturing and effort and commitment and care. Yes; newness is a beautiful thing when it comes to friendships. I love love love meeting new people. But the addition of one should never mean the subtraction of another. 

A nice long friendship is absolutely extraordinary. And we must learn to find excitement even in the old and familiar.