Take(n) For Granted

You know that overused saying about not knowing what you've got until it's gone? I've always hated it. And I don't hate it because it's overused or because it doesn't make sense. I hate it because it's so utterly, unbelievably, undeniably, in-your-face valid. It's true. And I know what it's like to experience both sides of the situation: the taking for granted and the taken for granted. But I've found that neither side is enjoyable. At least, not for an extended period of time.

I guess for the longest time I found it so easy to notice when I was the one being taken for granted. So easy to feel sorry for myself. So easy to desperately want others to feel sorry for me too. But I couldn't for the life of me ever notice when I was the one causing someone around me to feel that same way. I took for granted the fact that they felt taken for granted. And I didn't care.

But recently, I have found myself extremely humbled. I realize what a selfish, ignorant, big-headed person I can be when I let myself become a selfish, ignorant, big-headed person. And I'm sad to say that it took losing touch with a friend for me to realize it. It took their absence to prove to me what a tremendous presence they had in my life. And here's what other conclusions I've come to:

Everything that person used to do that you classified as "annoying" just doesn't seem as annoying anymore. Conversations that once seemed dragged out or useless start to seem pretty darn worthwhile. Jokes that once seemed lame or tired seem like hilarious, fun-filled mood boosters. All the times and the talks and the laughs have been taken for granted. Taken so much for granted that when that person is no longer there, your life will not be the same for quite some time. If ever.

And you start to feel bad for yourself. So bad for yourself. When in reality, this pain that you're feeling is nothing more than a consequence of your stupid, careless, self-absorbed actions.

So what do you do? You learn from it. That's about all that you can do. You open up your blind eyes and decide then and there that you will never make anyone feel like they are not a valued piece of your life ever again. You spend more time talking with people than about them. You spend more time giving people positive reinforcement than tearing them down. You spend more time relishing the presence of others than you do relishing trivial, materialistic clutter. You spend more time forgiving than holding onto mistakes. You spend more time looking at faces than at screens. You spend more time letting people know how much they mean to you than you do bottling it inside. You invest.

And you never, ever, ever take a person for granted.