Care Less

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

John Wooden knows what's up.

And I could sit here all day and do the ever-popular, "I don't care what anyone else thinks about me" act, but at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is that I do. Not nearly as much as I used to, but I do care. It's not that I want to care; I don't think anyone ever wakes up in the morning and says, "Boy, I sure hope I'm influenced by the thoughts of the people around me today. I'm just really in the mood to live with a perpetual fear of being scrutinized." No; that would be absolutely ridiculous and completely unrealistic because we, as humans, have this undeniable longing to be accepted and to avoid judgment. We want to be cool. We want to be liked. We want to be wanted.

But then I thought about it. And then I thought some more. And then I took a break because that was a heck of a lot of deep thinking. In the end, here's what I came up with.

Character and reputation are about as similar as good and bad. Do you get what I'm saying? They're polar opposites. Your character is you, apart from any stereotype or rumor or judgment. Your reputation is nothing more than a perception. It could be you, but oftentimes it's not. Perception is not fact; it's not ever 100% true. It couldn't be or else it would in fact be a fact.

So essentially, caring about what other people think is nothing more than hoping that they will not make a rude or rushed educated guess about who you are and what you live for. And when you put it that way, caring less doesn't seem quite so insurmountable. Actually, it seems kind of nice. Kind of really, really freeing.

As much as I'd like to say that I've mastered the "care less" art, that would be a lie. It would be a big lie. But I am working on it. Have you ever gone shopping for new clothes and thought, I wonder which one of these shirts will get me more compliments? Been there, done that. I'm not afraid to admit it. Except now I've changed it to, I wonder. Wait, no I don't. I personally like this one better. It's so much easier when you only have to satisfy one person's interests (your own) as opposed to trying to shop for 400 people.

And that's just one small, superficial example. Your friends and family know your true character. And obviously they like what's going on with it. So, why on earth does it matter what he says or what she says or what those people over there say? It doesn't. That's their perception.

Use your reputation as an opportunity to prove your reputation wrong. That's all that a reputation will ever be good for. And if all else fails, just, care less.